Someday I will write something substantial, but for now...

I promise that there is an actual blog worth writing in my head.  I've been mulling over some ideas for awhile, and as soon as the time is right, I will transfer those ideas from my brain to the internet.  In the meanwhile, I figured I would just write something even if it is inconsequential.  It just feels good to write every once in a while.

The Andrew Bird concert last night was very good.  Mr. Bird is a fantastic performer, and I was continually in awe as he shuffled around the stage and played his various instruments (guitar, violin, xylophone, handclaps), manipulated his loops, and sang or whistled.  The opener, Loney Dear, of Sweden, was also very good.  I was very impressed with their set, and I intend to listen to them more in the future.

I would like to say I've had a lot on my mind lately, and while what I have had on my mind has pretty much dominated my entire thought process, I can't really say I've been up to much.  I haven't watched as many films or read as many books as I'd like, and it's not because my social life is all-consuming.  In fact, I'd be delighted if it were.  No, I suppose I lack motivation to do things right now.  I've got lots of plans in my head, lots of things to write and/or create, but I'm usually thinking of accomplishing those things later.  Lately I've been languishing in uncertainty, mainly on one issue, but that uncertainty has done a good job of keeping my emotions somewhat disjointed.  Anyway, the future substantial blog that I'll someday write will clarify some of this vague rambling.

I need sleep.

I Require Assistance

Okay readers, I have a situation that requires intervention.  I have an extra ticket to the Andrew Bird concert on Wednesday night in Salt Lake City.  I am open to gifting it to someone who wants to go to the show.  It will be a good show.  I virtually guarantee it --- as much as I possibly can, barring crazy circumstances outside of my control.

Anyway, if you or someone you know is interested in obtaining this ticket, simply let me know.

That is all.  

Oscar Thoughts

I posted a lengthy blog about my thoughts on tonight's Oscars and who I think should win.  Head on over to my other blog, I Take It With Jello, if you're interested.

A new blog! Aaaahhh!

I'm pleased to announce the creation of a new collaborative blog, I Take It With Jello.  This blog will be written by myself and my homeboy Justin Betts, and it will act as a sort of informal discussion between the two of us on the subject of art, mostly movies and music but not limited to those topics.  We both miss the frequent communication we used to have in our younger years, and because of the physical distance and business of our more adult lives, a new blog seemed like a natural method to communicate more frequently about the movies and music we experience in our daily lives.

Though the blog is in its infancy, we welcome any and all who wish to read it.  Loyal readers of this blog need not worry: I will continue posting and updating this blog as often as I can.  So who knows what that means.

Thank you, goodnight.

Save me!

Today has been a vicious day at work, as slow as it could possibly be.  I need some distraction, even if it is just to post something insignificant (like always) on my blog.

Yesterday I had chinese food for lunch, and I got a good fortune cookie.  My fortune read, "Your dreams will become reality."  I'm hoping by dreams it meant the things I want to happen in my life and not literally my dreams, like the one earlier this week with this freaky serial killer attacking me and some girl, and I end up stabbing him with a butcher knife in self-defense.

Yeah, let's hope it's the first type of dreams.

Anti-Valentine's Day

In 2001 two friends and I observed the first Anti-Valentine's Day celebration. That meant getting pizza for lunch and not being sad about not having girlfriends. Obviously, as high school juniors, there wasn't much thought going into our celebration; it was just cool.

Then in February 2002, one year older and wiser too, I drafted a document that put forth the philosophical foundation of Anti-Valentine's Day. If you, dear reader, happen to love Valentine's Day, don't stop reading because I am talking about Anti-Valentine's Day. I may not like the holiday, but that does not mean that I am anti-love. In fact, it is the opposite that is true. Anyway, I wrote an essay for my Advanced Senior English class, and it was very well-received. I've shared it multiple times since then, but I figured, why not share it one more time? I apologize if you've already read this and do not want to re-read it. You may be dismissed. Otherwise, please continue onward. 

All You Need is Love and Some of Those Little Candy Hearts

I often feel nauseous. For years now I have observed that I seem to be stricken with a much more serious and dangerous nausea in early February. It may be tied to the fact that I've eaten a thousand candy hearts, hearts that come in shades of pink, yellow, or green, sporting such romantic phrases as "be mine" and "I love you", but I really think that what makes me most nauseous is the fact that the most deceptive, evil holiday known to man is celebrated on the fourteenth day of February---and there is nothing I can do about it.

 
For years I was absolutely powerless to stop this mindless tirade of fake affection; there seemed to be nothing I could do about Valentine's Day, and I thought that there would never be anything for me to do about it. Thoughts like that are hard to destroy, yet my train of thought was annihilated a couple years ago. No, I was not converted to the true meaning of Valentine's Day. No, my soul was not overcome by a love so powerful that I had to prove its veracity by doling out lavish gifts. Two compatriots and I stumbled upon a solution, a revelation that we could not deny. Amidst flowers, chocolates, and those vile candy hearts, we celebrated our own holiday: Anti-Valentine's Day.

Picture it: three teenage boys, coming together in high school to celebrate a holiday they call Anti-Valentine's Day. Is there any doubt in your mind that they are just jealous adolescents who can't get dates and have no one to spend Valentine's Day with? Obviously they created their little holiday as a way to make themselves feel better about being such losers. Now that we've gotten a vivid picture in your mind, I'd like to ask you to promptly destroy that image as quickly as possible. Had we wanted to observe the traditional Valentine's Day we could have. We may have been losers, but we were losers by choice not fate. Though for one day of the year, we were actually the only logical ones of the lot. We were the cool kids who knew what was up. We saw things that most people will never see in their lifetime. We saw that Valentine's Day is a farce of a holiday. Millions of people have it set in their minds that February 14th is the best day of the year. Why? Because they receive gifts and candy and affection they don't receive any other time of the year; it is the Christmas for hopeless romantics. Much like the actual Christmas that comes once a year, the meaning of Valentine's Day has been lost. In its conception, Valentine's Day is a great idea; in its celebration, Valentine's Day is an atrocity.

How awful could a holiday be that supposedly promotes love? I'm not sure, but I do know that the Teletubbies also promote love. Question answered. To put it bluntly, Valentine's Day is not about love. Corporate big-wigs want you to think it is. If you really love someone, is it necessary to heap gift upon gift at their feet on a special designated day other than birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, Mother's Day, Father's Day, St. Patrick's Day, Columbus Day, and Labor Day? A real showing of love does not involve gifts or delicious victuals. Valentine's Day was created to dupe people into thinking that by purchasing expensive gifts they can show how much love they feel for someone. In all truthfulness, they are inadvertently doing the opposite. Do you have to be told when to tell someone that you love them? Does some C.E.O. of the mega-corporation that creates those little candy hearts have the right to tell you to that February 14th is the day to show your love and spend your money? I think not. Make that capitalist pig eat his shorts by not procuring anything related in any way to Valentine's Day---does anyone really like those little candy hearts anyways?

Aside from being a holiday created to steal your hard earned money, Valentine's Day does much more harm than good to those who celebrate it. Although it stimulates our economy, which by February is still stuck in the post-Christmas rut, the psychological effects of the holiday are astounding and far reaching. From the elementary schools to the care centers, Valentine's Day is upon us all. Young children base their personal worth on how many valentines they get dumped into their homemade box; both low and high self-esteems are created this way. What kind of message are we sending that child who receives very few to no valentines? Because this holiday is made out to be something important, that child will suffer for a long time because he didn't get as many valentines as some of the other kids.  

Depression, self-loathing, anger, bitterness, those are all feelings that can and do accompany this holiday of love, and those feelings are probably even more prevalent amongst adults. Spending the holiday of love alone can cause severe depression in the lives of those unfortunate enough to believe that you have to have someone to share Valentine's Day with. The quantity and quality of gifts received on Valentine's Day lead human beings to create status levels, a class system of sorts, but the way I see it, our society is divided enough. What we truly need is unity, and Valentine's Day is circumventing any attempt at a long-lasting united society.

John Lennon sang, "All you need is love," and he was right. But those powers that be want you to think that all you need is love and some of those little candy hearts, a dozen roses, a box of chocolates, and some cute little stuffed teddy bear holding a cute little stuffed heart. Through all of time and across the many different cultures that inhabit our beautiful world, the ability to love has always been one of mankind's greatest characteristics. Love should be shown often; if you feel it, show it. Why should there be only one day a year designated to show someone that you love them? Wouldn't a gift given at random be more meaningful than a gift given on a day you're supposed to? Love, when it is truly felt, is a constant thing and should be expressed constantly. Anti-Valentine's Day is not about being anti-love; it promotes love in its pure form. Love is meant to be shared often, and once a year is not often enough. Instead of Valentine's Day, why not have Valentine's Year or Valentine's Decade? Or maybe we ought to just live our entire lives with love; if we did that, there'd be no need for this meaningless holiday. When I hear John Lennon and the Beatles sing, "All you need is love," I cannot help but echo their sentiments and whisper a quiet "amen". Until the world realizes its errors, accepts the truth, and begins to treat each and every person living on this earth with love, this is how I will stand: Pro-Love, Anti-Valentine's Day.

I can hardly believe that this essay is seven years old.  Crazy.  Sometimes I think I should rewrite it, add some new thoughts and whatnot derived from my observations and experiences of these past seven years, but I still feel like the essay is more than adequate.  

Interestingly enough, someone wrote something very similar to my essay.  My sister Janessa found an article on CNN.com, and it almost made me wonder if I'd been plagiarized.  Okay, not really.  But, if I felt safe in calling myself or this other writer a great mind, I'd say that great minds think alike.  However, as Janessa stated and I wholeheartedly agree with her, my title is better.  Check out this article and tell me it's not eerily similar to my essay.  Do it! Do it now! 

Coming tomorrow:  a special Anti-Valentine's Day mix.  Stay tuned.

Ramblin'

Friends and family, those of you who are involved in the blogosphere, you have let me down. You have not given me much in the way of reading material lately. Where else am I to turn for entertainment, enlightenment, and social interaction? Actual conversation?

I learned of the disintegration of a former-roommate's long-term relationship, and I am most disheartened. This was a couple that seemed extremely compatible, like the cliched "match made in heaven." I'm still hoping to have my own Saturday's Warrior moment sometime. Like I said a couple posts ago, I sometimes don't get people. I never imagined that this particular relationship would go down like this. It seems really sudden to me, though I can't claim to have been in the loop or anything. I feel like I need to listen to a Modest Mouse with lyrics like, "This plane is definitely crashing," and "This boat is obviously sinking," and "This building's totally burning down." Fits pretty nicely.

I'm hearing about too much heartache, especially this close to Valentine's Day. I'm definitely not a huge proponent of the materialistic farce of a holiday, but even I would be somewhat respectful of the day's place in our culture. I'll write more tomorrow about why I think Valentine's Day is a sham, but still, it's not a good time to be breaking up, y'all.

If only it were a good time for getting together, and I'm referring specifically to myself. But that likely shan't be happening, to my eternal chagrin.

Once again, I really don't have much to write about, but I just wanted to do some writing. Maybe if I get some of the thoughts out of my head and into the blogosphere, they won't be able to bounce around in my cranium and keep me awake longer than I'd like. I don't know what it is, but my brain has been unable to shut down as promptly as it used to not all that long ago. Perhaps the fact that my bedroom is some ten degrees warmer than the rest of my apartment has something to do with it.

Well, dear readers, you lucky, lucky individuals, I hope all is well and the rest of your week goes smoothly. I'm looking forward to the three-day weekend, that's for sure. I only need to think of something awesome to do. Oh great, something more to think about. Initiate shutdown sequence now.

Patria amada, Brasil.

I know it hasn't been long since I blogged, but I just got hit hard by an intense longing and yearning for Brazil. This happens every once in awhile, and it never gets any easier to deal with.

I was copying all my documents from my external hard drive to my MacBook, and I saw a folder called "Letter" that caught my eye. I opened it and it contained a letter that was written to my parents by a family from the last area I served in while a missionary in Brazil. The author of the letter, Patricia, was the wife and mother of the only family that I was able to teach and baptize in Jose Bonifacio, a small city of about 35,000 people. I came to love Patricia, her husband Odair, and their three beautiful daughters under the age of five with all my heart. When my two years of missionary service ended, I was excited to return to the States but heartbroken to leave my dear friends behind. I was lucky to be able to return to Brazil in November 2005 to visit this family along with some others in a different city. Leaving the second time was even harder. As I drove my parents and our rental car back toward Sao Paulo, I was nearly overcome with a yearning to stay, but I knew that my place was back in the U.S. of A.

Anyway, I saw this letter that Patricia had written to my parents, which I had then translated for them, and I quickly reread the letter. That was probably not the best idea if I had wanted to retain some of my emotional tranquility for the evening. Even before I finished, I was hit with saudade, a Portuguese term for longing. Instead of the action of missing someone or something, saudade is a noun; it's like the longing or yearning is an actual object within you. I really like the distinction, the difference between the ways different languages express a similar reality. Anyway, this saudade hit me very hard tonight. I haven't communicated with Odair and Patricia for awhile, and that causes me great sadness. I constantly miss my Brazilian friends, and I am ashamed that I have not done more to keep in contact with them. It is one of the great regrets I have, that and not keeping up with my Portuguese the way I should. I'm just amazed every time this saudade hits me. I mean, it's not like I don't think about those people frequently. Just last night Jared and I were at Carl's Jr and our conversation eventually ended up on this same subject.

I'm constantly reminded of Brazil and my friends. I see Brazil in so many things. I can hear it, smell it, touch it, and feel it all the time. It really assumed a place in my soul; that's the only explanation I can give for its continued and unmistakable presence in my life, despite the tremendous physical distance between my favorite South American nation and me. I think this saudade is just something I'm going to have to deal with, as difficult as it may be, because the only way to get rid of it would be to completely forget all the people I came to love so much, and I would rather suffer with my saudade than enjoy the numbness of oblivion and forgetfulness.

Scattered Thoughts

I consider myself a student of humanity, and the more I observe and try to understand people around me, the more perplexed I become. I'm grateful for whatever occasional insight I'm able to gleam from all my observations, but sometimes the only insight I can come up with is that people are complex, their motives are often unknown, but their complexity and confusing nature makes them all the more fascinating and worth striving to understand.

I guess it's a good thing I feel like I have a pretty good grasp on who I am and often evaluate the things I do and why I do them. I don't know where I'd be if I found myself confusing.

On a totally unrelated note: I am loving my MacBook. I still have a lot of files to transfer over from my external HD, but that hasn't stopped me from enjoying my most recent major purchase. I have started working on a video about the Labor Day exploits some friends and I enjoyed this past September. I'll definitely upload it once it's finished. I worked on it for a couple hours yesterday and ended up with a solid seventeen seconds of edited clips. I must say it's a pretty sweet opening sequence though. It feels good to be (somewhat) creative again.

I need to bowl more often. I bowled two subpar games Saturday night, and I realized that my bowling skills are not what they once were. Kudos to Gus for throwing the high score.

Lemon out.

25 Things About Me

Okay, this whole 25 random things about me has been dominating Facebook for some time.  Jessie tagged me about a week ago, and I think it is about time that I posted my own list.

25 Things About Me:

1. As a kid I was a rabid baseball fan, and my favorite team was the Atlanta Braves. I had a near-encyclopedic knowledge of baseball statistics, acquired primarily by reading and memorizing the stats listed on the backs of my many baseball cards. My family would quiz me on the different stats of random players, and I would rock their socks off. Now, I can’t even stand watching an entire baseball game on TV.

2. I became obsessed with Russian literature my first semester at BYU. I read War and Peace in two weeks for fun, and then I read Anna Karenina in one week. The next semester I took an awesome Russian literature course and read a bunch of other great books. My love of Russian lit made me want to serve a mission in Russia so I could learn Russian and read those novels in the original language, but instead I was sent to Brazil. It was all good.

3. I won my school’s Geography Bee when I was in the fifth grade. I got to go compete in the Utah State Geography Bee where I didn’t win anything.

4. Growing up I was frequently the subject of various psychological tests. I should mention that my father is a school psychologist and would use me as a test subject to familiarize himself with the different tests he would use. I always scored very well on those tests.

5. If I could be anything in the world, I would be a musician (i.e. guitarist). I would love to tour the country in a van, play small clubs for little more than gas money, and sleep on people’s floors. Unfortunately, Rock Band will probably be the closest I get to that dream. Though I did play two shows in front of people with my unsuccessful band in high school.

6. I went to the Malt Shoppe in Provo once a week for an entire year, taking advantage of their 2-for-1 shake offer. Then they started ripping their customers off, and we had a falling away.

7. I cannot walk into a bookstore and not buy a book. I justify each purchase by telling myself that I am going to have an awesome library when I have my own house sometime in the future.

8, One of my all-time favorite things in the world is to go to live rock concerts. I love to rock out and lose myself in the music. I’ve gone to a couple 3-day festivals in different parts of the country, road tripped to the Pacific Northwest a couple times for concerts, and plan on doing more traveling to see concerts in the future.

9. I nearly died twice in one day on my mission in Brazil. The first time a drunk driver came within inches of where I was standing on the side of the road, and the second time a large chunk of the ceiling crashed down on top of the desk where I normally sat at night and ate a bowl of cereal, but I happened to be elsewhere that night.

10. My best friends and I in high school would take fast food trays and slide down steep dirt hills on them; we called it ghetto boarding, and it was awesome.

11. I love to drive for driving’s sake. I love to drive down unfamiliar roads, not knowing where I will end up. If gas continues to be reasonably priced, I plan on doing a lot of aimless driving around in the mountains this spring and summer.

12. I absolutely hate to inconvenience or bother anyone. If someone is inconveniencing or bothering me, I will tend toward longsuffering rather than confronting the person about whatever is bothering me.

13. I am tentatively planning on attending the 2014 World Cup to be held in Brazil.

14. I do not mind going to the movies alone. I have done it many times and will continue to as long as I have to.

15. I feel like I need to pursue a future as a writer, but I am not sure if I have the skills or luck to succeed. All I know is I feel I need to try.

16. War and Peace is my favorite novel. I have only read it once, but it was a life-altering experience.

17. I love sports, and I think I tend to surprise people with how athletic I really am. I guess I don’t look too sporty or something. One of the greatest compliments I have received came from various Brazilians when we’d play soccer together, and they would compliment me on my play. Not many Americans knew how to play, let alone keep up with the Brazilian people, so when an American could, the Brazilians were genuinely surprised and pleased.

18. I double majored in film and English and have a job that utilizes very little of that education, but it doesn’t bother me too much right now.

19. I want to make enough money as a writer to be able to live in a bungalow on some beautiful Brazilian beach part of the year, just basking in the sun, doing some writing, swimming frequently in the warm ocean water, and living a quiet, peaceful life.

20. I am an idealist beneath my outer core of sarcasm. I believe that people are inherently decent and ought to be treated as such. Every day I am trying to better reconcile my actions with my beliefs.

21. I have never been what you would call popular, but I keep a small circle of close friends towards whom I am staunchly loyal.

22. Listening to music, reading books, watching movies, and talking about each of those things constitutes the majority of what I most like to do.

23. I have a very random and spontaneous side, what some might call spastic, and I need to find more opportunities for that part of me to come out. I miss the Slurpee-fueled adventures of the summer and cannot wait for the return of warmer weather.

24. I love classic films, especially the silent comedies of Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton and defend their worth whenever someone incapable of sustained attention disparages them.

25. I tend to write too much and ought to seek for greater precision with words, this list being proof enough of that.

The joys of consumerism, or how I learned to stop worrying and help the economy.

I've been meaning to post something the last few days.  I've been carrying around a small notebook with me everywhere I go just in case I feel the need to write something down, part of my resolution to be more organized and get more stuff done, and in this notebook I always have at least three or four topics to write about.  Actually sitting down and writing about them is a whole other story.

While I won't actually write about any of the topics that are written down in that notebook, I just wanted to actually post something, mainly because I am on my new MacBook (and it is a sleek, sexy machine).  It will take some time to get used to everything, and I'm still in the process of transferring files from my PC (including my music, which will require quite a bit of time and effort).  All in all, I am very much pleased with my purchase.  It will allow me greater mobility and freedom, which I hope will encourage more and better writing, and it will let me finally get around to finishing a few projects I've left unfinished for some time now.  Those projects include the Director's Cut for my short-film "Irish-American Idol," as well as the Director's Cut for "The Three Masters 2."  It's been almost a year since I've done any film editing, and I'm looking forward to being able to do it at my own leisure.

I have been wasting too much time on GarageBand, throwing loops together and trying to create something resembling music.  I fear I will continually be tempted by it.

And in other news:  there isn't much other news.  I have now seen four of the five films nominated for Best Picture, and I hope to see the fifth before the weekend is over.  Also, I don't have anything planned for this weekend.  After the hustle and bustle of last weekend, it might be nice to just take it easy and be boring.  Or maybe not.  I can't decide.  I am languishing in uncertainty.  (I'm only half-joking).

Ladies and gentlemen, it's Andrew Bird.

Three years ago, on Martin Luther King Day, I went to breakfast at IHOP with my friend and former roommate, Bryan Hicks, and his then girlfriend, Lindsey, along with some of her roommates. While Bryan and I competed to see who could eat the most pancakes (I lost eleven to nine), I spoke a little with some of Lindsey's friends about music. We discovered that we had some common musical interest, though I didn't pursue that connection as much as I should have for some reason. One of the artists that was brought up was Andrew Bird. At the time, I had heard of him and read favorable reviews on the internet, but had yet to actually hear any of his music. I was told that I needed to listen to him right away.

Not long after that I acquired an album of his and started listening. I was quickly hooked. Andrew Bird is a multi-instrumentalist, proficient in violin, whistling, guitar, mandolin, and glockenspiel. His music is tough to categorize. It's very distinct; once you know what his sound is like, you will instantly recognize his music. In fact, my iTunes just randomly shuffled to one of his songs right now.

Bird played a free concert this summer in Salt Lake as part of the Gallivan Twilight Concert series, a series of free concerts every Thursday night in July and August at the Gallivan Center in downtown Salt Lake. I highly recommend catching one of those shows. They had a great lineup this past summer, and I'm looking forward to another stellar lineup this summer. Anyway, Bird's show was really great. He puts on a very good show while maintaining the complexity of his music. Seeing his songs reproduced live as he plays both guitar and violin, uses pedals to record and playback loops, and sings and whistles is an experience.

I bring this up, not just because I want to introduce his music to more people, but because Mr. Bird is returning to Utah. He has a show scheduled for February 25th at the Murray Theater, and I am very excited to see him playing in an actual club. It should be a great show. For those of you who have not listened to Andrew Bird or aren't as familiar with his music as you would like, I have assembled a mix of my favorite songs from two of his albums, 2005's The Mysterious Production of Eggs and 2007's Armchair Apocrypha. Bird has a new album recently released called Noble Beast. It used to be available in its entirety on NPR's website, but I just looked and it is no longer available. Bummer. Noble Beast is a grower; it didn't immediately resonate with me, but repeated listens have revealed the album's strengths and lasting power.

Anyone who likes Andrew Bird's music should come to the show. Tickets are approximately $20. I've already got mine, and I know at least a couple people besides myself will be going. Transportation shouldn't be much of an issue, so don't worry if you need a ride.

The Best of Andrew Bird Mix