Stay tuned...

I promise that I will write on the following subjects very soon:

• my exhausting, expensive, and excellent Memorial Day weekend at the Sasquatch music festival in Washington; a multi-part series
• my thoughts on Up, Pixar's latest wondrous piece of art
• a basic outline of my personal thoughts and philosophy on writing (and art in general)

Sounds exciting, I know.

Shake that groovy postscript.

So this whole post will serve as a big P.S. to my previous post.

I thought of another problem regarding myself and infatuation:  I just seem to like girls that don't like me.  It goes hand-in-hand with what I wrote about liking girls that must be out of my league.  Also, when I said I hoped that the lyrics to The National's "Slow Show" would some day be true in my life, I meant that I hoped to some day tell someone that I dreamed about them and missed them for however many years until I saw them, not specifically twenty-nine years.  I really don't want it to take that long.

Okay, so after I published my previous blog, some things went down to ease my melancholy.  Jared and I went to Sammy's where their delicious pie shakes were half off, so I got a strawberry cheesecake shake and a Mountain Dew for $2.14.  Pretty sweet deal.  Then we came back to Sparks, got Dave and Jeremy to join us in playing Rock Band (we totally rocked out to the recently released Franz Ferdinand songs), and, as always, drumming was therapeutic for me.  After that we went to the Cinco de Mayo party going down in the clubhouse.  I was able to chill, eat some snacks, and talk to people.  The original party plan was to watch The Three Amigos, but a group of us had too much energy to sit down and watch a movie.  Thus, we decided to make a Slurpee run, and, if the mood was right, head up Hobble Creek Canyon for a dance party.  Those of you who followed my blog one year ago should remember me blogging about the dance parties we had last year.  They were definitely a highlight of the summer, and I have been looking forward to bringing them back this year.  Well, we got our Slurpees, and five of us (myself, Jared, Elyse, Kelli, and Megan) felt the urge to make magic happen.  After we dropped off three new guys who weren't too keen on the idea, we all piled into one car and started the adventure.

The canyon was open - it had been closed pretty recently - and after awhile we found the old spot where our other dance parties had taken place.  We parked Elyse's car, turned up the music, and got the party started.  Let me tell you, it was a blast, and it was exactly what I needed.  Just letting loose and dancing really helped decimate my melancholy.  It's hard to not shake off the stress to groovy music.  Everyone was getting into it, and we all had a great time.  A lot of pictures were taken, and I may have to include some of the best ones in a future post once I get access to them on Facebook.  It's incredible how quickly circumstances can change, or at least attitudes.  I had a great night, I'm not so bothered by my social status, and I feel more optimistic for the future.

Now I need to make some awesome Hobble Creek Canyon dance party mixes for the near future.  I shall enjoy compiling those mixes mucho.  Anyway, it's late, and I need sleep.

"I want to start over. I want to be winning."

"Looking for somewhere to stand and stay, I leaned on the wall and the wall leaned away."  

- The National

I am pretty exhausted right now.  Let's just say that I feel sorry for the future spouses of some of the roommates I've had over the years; they make loud, weird, and sometimes scary noises in their sleep, and if I were lying next to them, I think I'd be tempted to use the pillow to end their misery.

Besides being exhausted, I'm kind of feeling melancholic at the moment.  Work was good today, other than the struggle to remain alert.  We had a Cinco de Mayo party, and it was fun and we ate good food.  I played a round of disc golf, and while my score wasn't as good as my previous two games, I still scored under sixty.  Also, I nearly lost a disc in the treacherous mess of shrubs and trees, but Jared was able to spot it and save me from dishing out $15 to replace the disc.  

No, my melancholy is of a different sort.  Basically, I'm tired, as I've been for some time, of purely platonic relationships.  I'm tired of unrequited interest and fruitless infatuation, of being "a footnote at best."  My problem, as I've concluded, is that, when it comes to infatuation, I:

• do not do enough to translate infatuation into action, or do what it takes to make my infatuation more apparent.
• remain infatuated for too long, especially when nothing is coming of it.
• become infatuated with girls that are, most likely, out of my league; I think part of my problem is that I like girls that are really quite amazing (smart, beautiful, talented, etc.), and I can't just say, "Oh, she's stupid cuz she doesn't like me," and then forget about her.

Nonetheless, I have to keep hoping that eventually I will meet someone that interests me and that interest will be reciprocated.  The National song "Slow Show" ends with an extremely beautiful combination of lyrics and melody that I hope will someday be true in my case.  The words are:  "You know I dreamed about you for twenty nine years before I saw you.  You know I dreamed about you.  I missed you for twenty nine years."

I firmly believe that it's better to be alone than to be with the wrong person, so at least I have that on my side.  I didn't get to be twenty-five and single by being impatient or desperate.  I do feel a little better just writing this.  I'll keep telling myself that everything will fall into place in the right time.  

It has to.

No need for a title

I don't know what it is, if it's the rain and the gloomy weather, but I am feeling in a funk right now.

I know I keep saying that I have a substantial blog post coming soon, and yet it never seems to arrive or make its way from my mind to the internet.  I feel more and more, however, that it is near.  The subject of the blog has been on my mind for a very long time; in fact, I first thought of writing about the subject one year ago.  My initial thoughts have multiplied since then; every day seems to bring me something new to think about, some new idea to mull over.  I feel like those ideas won't be held back much longer.  They have been gathering in my mind like water in a reservoir, and the water is about to spill over the dam.