Provo City Conspiracy Theory

Provo City has made a deal with the devil, i.e. big oil.

How do I know this? I don't. I suspect it. If I knew it, it wouldn't be a conspiracy theory.

Anyway, here is the scoop. I work full-time for The Generations Network and that means that I drive 15 minutes to work every day. My route of travel, starting at the Sparks apartment complex, is north up 9th East, around the bend, and then north on University Avenue to my building near the Riverwoods Mall. Along the way I have the opportunity to go through many traffic lights, most of which like to turn red right before I arrive, forcing me to stop. It gets frustrating when I get stopped at every light on 9th East. There are seven lights before I reach the intersection of 2230 North and University Avenue, and there have been mornings when I have been stopped at six red lights. It's not like I'm driving exceptionally fast or slow or anything like that. I can stop at one light, accelerate to the speed limit when it turns green, and watch the next light change to red as I approach it. I cannot go from the intersection of University Parkway and 9th East to the stoplight in front of the MTC without getting stopped - it happens essentially every day.

What I'm getting at is this: Provo has the worst coordination of traffic lights. The city obviously cares nothing about fuel efficiency. If it did, it would figure out how to facilitate commutes with fewer red lights. But with the stop and go traffic we poor citizens are forced to deal with lower gas mileage, not to mention frustration and possible road rage. If the city isn't looking out for its citizens, who is it looking out for? Itself, obviously. This is what leads me to believe that the city is in cahoots with big oil. The city forces poor fuel efficiency on its citizens to increase gas consumption, and big oil rewards the city with some nice kickbacks.

Some might say I'm grasping at straws, and I am. But this is what I'm forced to think about when I spend so much time every morning staring at that annoying red traffic light. Even if the city officials aren't evil and are only incompetent, they should still try and manage traffic better. But if they are evil and in the pocketbook of big oil, they'll get theirs someday... Oh yes, they will...